Recently I received the following question from a married , lay theology student :
".If one of the partners immediately after marriage falls a victim
> to accident/disease and becomes incapable of leading a sex life
> dont you think it would be inhuman that the other partner should lead
> a celibate life thereafter ,and not seek secret physical relief elsewhere?
> The church as such does not permit an acceptable solution in such cases.
>"
I think I should share with Readers , my insight in prayer regarding this and which I wrote to the person asking this question. It is as follows :
- There is a difference between marriage as a social
institution
which has been present in almost all cultures and times around the
world , and specifically catholic sacramental marriage.
- Every catholic sacrament is immersed in the Paschal Mystery . The
union between a baptized man and a baptized woman due to their mutual
self giving and acceptance of each other [ their consent] , is
very similar to Jesus Christ's self giving to humanity thru His
passion, death and resurrection.
- Marriage involves all dimensions of the spouses . When it is
consummated , it is a union not only in body but also in spirit ,
thus the two become one flesh and also have a spiritual bond. I
think one can compare this marital union with mystical union with
God in prayer. In Church history the union between spouses has
been treated as inferior to the celibate life and lay people have
started studying theology quite recently . Actually catholic
marriage can be seen as a Vocation , in no way inferior to celibacy.
It is a sacrament . God is present in the act of union between the
spouses and they co operate with God and each other to such a deeply
physical and spiritual level that this love can bring a new life , a
soul in this world . Catholic marriage is for the good of the
spouses and for the procreation and education of children. The
physical union is not merely meant to satisfy their human desire or
satisfaction , but is an act of self giving and acceptance of each
other . It is perhaps so similar to the highest forms of mystical
union in prayer that its time married laity claimed that this
can be THEIR way of coming close to God.
If after a catholic sacramental marriage which is already consummated
, one of the partners is unable to lead a sex life , you wonder why
the partner should be forced to live like a celibate. I am wondering
, isn't the injured / sick partner also forced to live like a
celibate ? Then why only the healthy partner feels injustice ? Do
they not vow to be with each other in sickness or in health ? After
the two have become one flesh and are bonded in spirit , immersed in
the Paschal Mystery , when Jesus Christ Himself was an innocent
victim , is it Christian discipleship for the physically healthy
partner to seek secret satisfaction with someone else outside
marriage ? Here the question is not about human and inhuman . The
question is about being an authentic disciple and not being
authentic disciple of Jesus Christ. If the marital act is so
sacred that I will dare to call it a Prayer that brings the couple
very close to God , how can it be right to fall so low as to forget
ones vows to be faithful to ones partner and seek fulfilment of
lust ?
I know the sexual instinct is God's gift to every human being. But
at least I believe it IS possible to exercise self control ,
abstinence etc for a higher good that catholic sacramental
marriage is supposed to live.
Will it be Christian for a married man or woman to fulfil the
sexual urges by committing adultery , or self indulgence thru
masturbation , or abusing and raping innocent victims ? Discipleship
can never permit this.
Christianity has the traditon of channelising these instincts thru
service , by loving the whole world. Can not the couple be inspired
to adopt children ?
which has been present in almost all cultures and times around the
world , and specifically catholic sacramental marriage.
- Every catholic sacrament is immersed in the Paschal Mystery . The
union between a baptized man and a baptized woman due to their mutual
self giving and acceptance of each other [ their consent] , is
very similar to Jesus Christ's self giving to humanity thru His
passion, death and resurrection.
- Marriage involves all dimensions of the spouses . When it is
consummated , it is a union not only in body but also in spirit ,
thus the two become one flesh and also have a spiritual bond. I
think one can compare this marital union with mystical union with
God in prayer. In Church history the union between spouses has
been treated as inferior to the celibate life and lay people have
started studying theology quite recently . Actually catholic
marriage can be seen as a Vocation , in no way inferior to celibacy.
It is a sacrament . God is present in the act of union between the
spouses and they co operate with God and each other to such a deeply
physical and spiritual level that this love can bring a new life , a
soul in this world . Catholic marriage is for the good of the
spouses and for the procreation and education of children. The
physical union is not merely meant to satisfy their human desire or
satisfaction , but is an act of self giving and acceptance of each
other . It is perhaps so similar to the highest forms of mystical
union in prayer that its time married laity claimed that this
can be THEIR way of coming close to God.
If after a catholic sacramental marriage which is already consummated
, one of the partners is unable to lead a sex life , you wonder why
the partner should be forced to live like a celibate. I am wondering
, isn't the injured / sick partner also forced to live like a
celibate ? Then why only the healthy partner feels injustice ? Do
they not vow to be with each other in sickness or in health ? After
the two have become one flesh and are bonded in spirit , immersed in
the Paschal Mystery , when Jesus Christ Himself was an innocent
victim , is it Christian discipleship for the physically healthy
partner to seek secret satisfaction with someone else outside
marriage ? Here the question is not about human and inhuman . The
question is about being an authentic disciple and not being
authentic disciple of Jesus Christ. If the marital act is so
sacred that I will dare to call it a Prayer that brings the couple
very close to God , how can it be right to fall so low as to forget
ones vows to be faithful to ones partner and seek fulfilment of
lust ?
I know the sexual instinct is God's gift to every human being. But
at least I believe it IS possible to exercise self control ,
abstinence etc for a higher good that catholic sacramental
marriage is supposed to live.
Will it be Christian for a married man or woman to fulfil the
sexual urges by committing adultery , or self indulgence thru
masturbation , or abusing and raping innocent victims ? Discipleship
can never permit this.
Christianity has the traditon of channelising these instincts thru
service , by loving the whole world. Can not the couple be inspired
to adopt children ?
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